I remember the first time God told me to quit my job back in June 2019. I thought I must’ve heard incorrectly. Especially because He hadn’t opened a new opportunity yet. So I didn’t quit. Fear consumed me and I convinced myself that God wasn’t talking. Why would God want me to be unemployed? In January 2020, when God told me again to quit my job, I was scared, but this time was different. He gave me peace and I asked Him to keep encouraging me. The day I told my supervisor that I was leaving, I listened to Bishop TD Jakes and the message was entitled, “Keep It Moving.” Despite our fear, Keep It Moving. Despite the obstacles that lay ahead, Keep It Moving. As I kept listening, I knew this message was specifically for me. However, it was Bishop TD’s final prayer that captivated me. He said, “I believe God is calling you to rise. Lazarus come forth. Rise Lazarus Rise!” I felt like He was talking to me. Like something inside me was dead and bound and God was reviving it.
So I chose to trust God. I gave my two weeks and as those two weeks came to a close I found myself in another dilemma. My job extended me an offer that was extremely difficult to turn down. I loved my team, I loved my job, and this company had been my home for 4 years. Did I really have the strength to leave? No. But, I asked God for His strength so that I wouldn’t change my mind. My final day at work, I was doing a devotion on Jesus’s miracles and we were up to the miracle when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. I almost cried as I read:
“Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with grave-clothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.””
John 11:41-44 NKJV
God was resurrecting Lazarus in me. Those areas in my life I thought were dead, He was reviving. It was so evident, I couldn’t deny it nor ignore it. It was my creativity. My faith over my finances. My healing from past wounds. My victory over fear. God is calling me to live a life without boundaries. I soaked in the words “And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with grave-clothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.” This showed me that although God revives us, some of us are still bound. We’re not fully loose until we take off those chains. The chain of regret. The chain of shame. The chain of disappointment.
It’s been almost three months since I left my job. Every day I meditated, read the bible, prayed, and declared God’s promises for my life. I allowed God into the most secret places of my heart and He exposed pain that I had buried deep within. It was hard to face. I pretended to be okay for so long. I actually thought, maybe God didn’t know the pain was there because I didn’t know it was there. We serve a good God and He wants us to be the best that we can be – without boundaries.
It’s about two months into the Stay at Home order, issued by many Government officials, due to the effects of Covid-19. Some people are going crazy staying inside. Some of you were accustomed to leaving your homes in order to avoid your problems, bury your trauma, and escape your thoughts. Like me, you adapted your pain like a badge of honor. But that’s not who God intended us to be. God is calling us back into relationship with Him. He is calling us to have intimacy with Him. He sees the condition of our heart and He wants to heal it. He no longer wants you to hide your insecurities. He wants you to take off your mask, confront your past, and be healed. Because it’s only after you have healed that you could become who God truly called you to be. Free.