In 2015 I was going through a rough time in my relationship. My ex and I weren’t seeing eye to eye. We weren’t arguing, but he didn’t feel loved and neither did I. It was the strangest thing because we loved each other very much, but it seemed like something was lacking. I started researching to see if I could find anything to help and that’s when I came across the book, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” by Dr. Gary Chapman. There’s a test in the book to help you find your love language. So both me and my ex did it and I discovered that my primary love languages are Gifts and Acts of Service. My ex’s was Quality Time. It all made sense. There were times he shunned the gifts I got him. He thought I was trying to “buy his love.” But I also felt stifled because of all the time he wanted to spend with me. I was expressing my love the way I wanted to be loved instead of the way he wanted to be loved and vice versa.
It got me thinking, if we have love languages, does God? And the answer is yes! God has 5 love languages. I’m pretty sure He has more because He is infinite, but these are the 5 the Holy Spirit gave me.
- Quality Time
- Words of Declaration
- Spiritual Touch
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
Unlike humans,
Quality Time
After sending them [the crowds] home, He [Jesus] went up into the hills by Himself to pray. Night fell while He was there alone.
Matt 14:23
Before daybreak the next morning Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.
Mark 1:35
I’m often asked, “How do you hear from God?” The truth is there is no formula to hearing God speak. It takes time, patience, and a desire to hear from Him. We have to foster an environment of listening and spending quality time with God is the perfect way to do this. There are practical activities that you can do to accomplish this. Here are some of my favorites:
Color with God – with this activity I use an adult coloring book with some markers. Sometimes I play music to set the mood. I pay attention to the colors I’m using. I pay attention to the emotions that are coming up. Sometimes God is drawing out an emotion because it’s something that needs to be addressed. For instance, God used coloring to point out that I was disappointed in Him and how it would take over my life if it continued to go unaddressed.
Drink wine with God – This is a great opportunity to have a conversation with God. Speak out loud to Him. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. It takes faith to hear God and we demonstrate our faith by doing activities like this.
Dinner with God – I know people who set an extra plate for God expecting Him to show up and have dinner with them. And He does!
Watch a movie with God – You can ask God to give you a spiritual eye so that when you’re watching the movie you will see God in it. This is actually a lot of fun because you’ll get the spiritual meaning behind the movie too.
Read His word – This is how you will know how God sounds, responds and His guidelines for speaking to us.
Drink tea with God
Workout with God
Morning Stretch with God
Write God love songs
Write God poetry
There are many examples in the Word of others who spent quality time with God and because of this God used them mightily in leading His people.
- David wrote love songs to God in the field (Book of Psalms)
- Daniel prayed daily (Daniel 6:10)
- Adam in the Garden (Genesis 2)
- Enoch walked with God and then was not (Genesis 5:24)
Question: What are some practical activities you do to spend Quality Time with God?
Words of Declaration
For all the promises of God in Him are Yes and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
2 Cor 1:20
Words of Declaration is speaking God’s words back to Him and claiming His promises in our life. There is power in words. God created this world with the spoken word and has given that same power to us. When we speak God’s promises over our lives we are activating its power, coming into agreement with the Holy Spirit, and commanding the heavenly hosts (angels) to move on our behalf. There are 3000+ promises in the word of God and we need to claim them all by declaring it! When I was struggling in my finances God showed me that my negative words was binding His power in my life. I needed to come out of agreement with satan and speak God’s promises for my life. When I started doing this I noticed an instant change in my finances. My bank account was no longer in the negative and I no longer felt broke. You could read more about this in my IG post here. In fact, I’m in a season right now where I’m still unemployed, but I’m able to purchase whatever I want because of God’s faithfulness. When we speak His promises it now comes alive in our life and continues to move on our behalf.
Here are some examples of God’s Promises
- I am a Child of God anything I ask will be given to me
- I am God’s Beloved nothing and no one can separate me from His Love
- My Father withholds no good gifts from me
- I have peace that surpasses all understanding
- God did not give me the spirit of fear but of Power, Love, and a Sound Mind
- I trust God and He will never put me to shame
- I am blessed and highly favored
- I am empowered to prosper
- I am the lender not the borrower
- When I command the mountains to move they move
Question: What promises are you declaring over your life?
Spiritual Touch
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
When the Holy Spirit gave me this love language it blew my mind. Spiritual Touch represents full surrender to God. It’s demonstrated in three areas.
Faith in Him and the faith that He has in us – It takes Faith to please God Heb 11:6. God’s faith in us empowers us to go beyond our limitations. Addison Bevere, in her blog on God’s love languages quotes, “His love revealed through faith offers new wings, lifting us into the wonder of our true self in Christ!” Because of God’s faith in me I can literally do anything. I have overcome so much fear. I went from a socially anxious, depressed, sexually traumatized, young girl who was afraid of the dark to a powerful woman of God determined to help set others free by teaching them how to step into their power. Because of my faith in God, I quit my job and launched my ministry, “Whisper: Hearing God.” It includes a Master Class, coaching sessions, and soon to be Bible Study.
Obedience – Obedience is a heart posture. It’s our heart saying yes to God’s will and way. A lot of times we think that obedience is in the “acts” we do, but obedience starts when we say yes to God in our hearts. For example, God told me to quit my job. I obeyed the minute I said, “ok God I will do that.” The action of quitting my job is only an outward expression of what was in my heart. Sometimes we think that the more work we do the more it will please God. But this is a false idea because man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart 1 Sam 16:7. The Pharisees in the bible often did a lot of “works” fasting, praying long prayers, ritualistic hand washing and their hearts were so far from God. It’s important that we pray daily and ask God to search us and expose our hearts.
Worship in Spirit and Truth (John 4:24) – God is Spirit and those who have the Holy Spirit living within them will worship in the Holy Spirit as He reveals the truth that Jesus died for our sins and raised to life again. Only the Holy Spirit could reveal this to us. This is the first step in our Christian walk and it is the foundation of our belief. This example of full surrender is crucial because we reject the world and accept Christ as our personal Lord and savior. We may be called foolish, we may be ridiculed for our decision, but there is safety in believing that my life is not my own and belongs to God.
Notice that all three of these represent the condition of the human heart. This love language has nothing to do with works, but everything to do with our heart posture towards God.
Question: When was a time you struggled with surrendering to God? What Happened?
Gifts
For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away
Matthew 25:14-15
When I was younger I used to ask all the time how do we bless God? It seemed like such a strange thought as it would seem odd to bless a God who has everything. But God revealed to me that we bless Him by giving back to Him what He has given us; for example our talents, time, offering, charity, our body (hands and feet), our life, our ministry etc. When I first started learning about tithing I was reluctant to give. I didn’t want to give away my hard earned money. But when God revealed that He has given me the money, He’s the one that made a way for me to get the job I was happy to give back to Him. The same with my talents, my time, in fact I have told God that anything that comes from my body including dreams, businesses, ministry, and children belongs to Him. I have surrendered all to the God who has surrendered His life for me. My gifts are nothing compared to the gifts He has given me, but I know that the Father is pleased because He uses all of my gifts to help His children. That’s what this is all about. We give back to God so He can multiply it so that we can help more people.
It’s also important to note that we must also be in a posture to receive. God gives good gifts, but He only gives it to those who desire it and can receive it. I remember a couple of years ago my heart was so closed to receiving gifts from God. I had a pride issue rooted in pain from my Father leaving me when I was a kid. I didn’t want to receive anything from anyone unless I was able to give it back. But the biggest issue with this is God is infinite. I can never repay Him. As God worked on my pride and healed my wound I was able to receive. This is so important because our receiving isn’t just for us. Whatever God gives to us is used to bless others. We are just the vessel that God funnels the blessings through.
Question: How do you bless God and are you in a position to receive His gifts?
Acts of Service
I was hungry and you gave Me food, thirsty and you gave Me drink, stranger and you took Me in, naked and you clothed Me, sick and you visited Me, in prison and you came to Me. Then the righteous will ask, “When did we do those things?” And the King will answer, “In as much as you did it to one of the least of those, you did it to Me.”
Matt 25:35-40
If someone says, “I love God” and hates his brother he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this is the commandment that we have from Him: That he who loves God must love his brother also.
1 John 4:20-21
Acts of Service is focused on tending to God’s people. The way we treat people is a direct relation to how we treat God. Some of us cut God off a long time ago and we don’t even know it. Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost. Once He ascended to Heaven He tasked us with the same mission. He uses us as a vessel, but some of us are so self-focused, rooted in offense and unforgiveness, or biased and racist, that we cannot be used. Our attitudes toward others that look different, act different, talk different, live different, and vote different should be the same. It should all be rooted in love because that’s what Jesus has called us to do. Love one another just like we love God. And we love God above everything else. It’s when we operate in love that we can truly express this love language for God because then we will have a desire for His people and a desire to help. God created us to be interconnected and He called us to serve one another.
Question: How do you treat the people who hurt you? Do you still love them or did you cut them off too?
God’s Love Languages are a major way for us to express our love to Him. It helps us to build an intimate relationship and go deeper with God. It sets an atmosphere for listening and checks the temperature of our heart.
I hope you found this helpful. If you enjoyed this blog feel free to check out my other blogs Here.
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