“Finally, God told me to speak and fire came out of my mouth.”
Last year and all my life, I felt hidden. I had all these gifts inside me and I had innovative and ground breaking ideas, yet no platform. When I spoke, it was as if I were a ghost. I could flourish one day and the next day people would forget. I would work so hard on my projects and only a handful of people would see it. I helped so many people, speaking into their lives, coaching them through difficult situations, yet I felt unappreciated. When would it be my time to shine? I felt under valued. Over looked. Forgotten. I wanted to give up. But God wouldn’t let me. Instead, He sent me signs to show me that He had me hidden and my reveal was about to happen.
The first thing God did: He sent people to encourage me when I felt like I reached my breaking point, people started DMing me and telling me how inspirational my content was. They told me to keep going because I helped them so much. They shared testimonies about how I helped transform their lives, and how I inspired them to keep going when they wanted to quit. I really appreciated the feedback. It’s hard to stay focused on purpose when you think you’ll never succeed.
The second thing God did: He sent a pastor to speak into my life. By way of YouTube, Pastor Mike Todd, of Transformation Church, preached a series entitled, “Planted Not Buried.” It was perfect timing. He talked about being planted so that God could nourish us, build us up, and then reveal us. What stood out to me the most was the Bamboo plant. It’s planted, and for three years nothing happens above ground. Everything happens underground out of the Public’s eye. But when it sprouts it grows 3” every hour. The Bamboo plant is one of the stronger durable plants. You could build a house with it. I’ve been hidden so long I thought I was buried. I thought my dreams, passion and purpose would die in me. That’s why God tells us to renew our minds daily. The enemy had me believing that this is how my life was supposed to be. Producing shows that will never go anywhere, producing events that very few attended, working at a job that diminishes females and uplifts white males even if they don’t have the experience (that’s another blog post).
The third thing God did: He used me in a dynamic way to speak directly into the lives of a few women. My good friend, Sade’ Solomon, hosted “Talk & Tea” an intimate conversation for women digging deep into what’s holding them back from being purposeful. I heard a lot of fear in the room. Doubt. Shame. Hesitation. Inconsistency. Some didn’t know their identity, others were too afraid to dream, and a few were too scared to speak the vision for their life. God was brewing something inside me. I always know when He’s about to speak through me. My stomach felt like it was on fire and I couldn’t contain it. Finally, God told me to speak and fire came out of my mouth. It burned fears, ignited dreams and visions, and lit up dark areas exposing inconsistency in their walk with God. I was shocked. They were shocked. At the end of the event the women asked me for more info on my ministry. But I didn’t have one. That was just a glimpse of how God was going to use me. During prayer, I said to God, “I wish that I could have someone speak to me the way you just used me to speak to these women.” And He responded. “Why? I speak directly to you and you’re my mouthpiece.” I cried. He was right! God and I have a direct connection that people yearn for, yet I wanted to replace it.
The last thing God did: He gave me a glimpse of what was to come. He opened the door for me to attend Black Girls Rock (BGR) 2018. He made it very clear that I was to go ALONE. I was nervous and I didn’t know why. It’s not like I was performing or receiving an award. Why was I so nervous? When I got to BGR, I stood in a long line of beautifully dressed Black Women. One of the Producers scanned the line asking, “Who came here alone?” Then looked right at me and asked, “Are you here alone?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Come with me.” This was the God moment. I, along with 19 other women, were selected to go on stage with Queen Latifah. I couldn’t believe it. Had I not heeded God’s command to come alone I would’ve missed out on this opportunity. As I sat in reserved seating in the balcony watching the show, I looked out at all the celebs in the audience, all the celebs on stage and God said to me,
Mind blown 🤯. This is where purpose will take me. He continued, “You’re unseen right now because I have you planted, but I’m getting ready to bloom you. Let me continue to work on you, hold on to the promise, a new season is coming.
Can you spot me?
I was in awe. God did not forget me. He was working on me for many years. As I reflected on my season, Planted: I overcame depression, healed from trauma, and discovered my identity. God revealed my gifts, my purpose, and removed people from my life that were draining me.
If you’re feeling forgotten or overlooked, know that you’re in a season where God is growing you. Heed His direction and let Him work on you. Because when the Glow Up season arrives you’ll enjoy every bit of it – free.