Battlefield: A Test of Faith

I was on the battleground. The war was waging. The enemy firing his attacks and my body absorbing it like a sponge. I was exhausted, but I was praying hard that the attacks would stop and that I would be victorious. I could hear several voices. The loudest voice was telling me to do something contrary to what God initially directed me to do. I came so close to giving up. I kept crying out for help, but it seemed that no one could help me. Then my body fell to the ground and I closed my eyes. Sleep consumed me.

I awoke 5 minutes later and I heard in a very loud voice, “GET UP AND FIGHT FOR WHAT’S YOURS! YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO YOUR PEACE!” Now re energized I finally had the strength of the Holy Spirit. I stood up and rebuked the enemy, silencing him and calling down angels to fight this battle for me. Then peace befell my room.

This is a glimpse of the spiritual warfare we undergo as Christians. The battlefield is our minds. The enemy’s weapons are lies, doubt, deceit etc. The weapons of the Holy Spirit – worship, prayer, fasting, speaking His truth etc. On this day, the enemy tried to convince me to denounce a blessing that God gave me. He wanted me to quit ministry. What helped me win was clinging to the word God initially spoke to me prior to the battle. But it wasn’t easy. The enemy was using a close friend of mine to confuse me. God directed me to do something that my friend (a minister) did not agree with. Of course the simple solution would be to follow God, which I did. But as a result of my choice, I lost my friend. Even worse, I was in a state of confusion. Did I really hear from God? Here in lies the test; a major test that seems to keep reoccurring in my life. This is something I struggled with for so long: Will I listen to God or will I listen to someone else?

As mentioned before, this isn’t the first time I went through this. The first time I failed the test horribly. It was spring 2019, God told me to get Pre Approved for a home; however, I didn’t have the funds in my account. Fear consumed me as I thought about God giving me false instructions. So I sought a friend on the matter. Needless to say, she told me that I did not hear from God. That God would never lead me to do something so reckless and I needed to go back and re learn God’s voice. She spoke directly to my fears and I left feeling ashamed, doubtful, and worthless. How could I get it so wrong? How could I miss God’s voice? For months, I cried to God and asked for His help. For months, I was confused wondering did God really speak to me or was that my own desire? Finally, God spoke to me through Pastor Mike Todd’s Crazy Faith series. In part 1 of the series, Pastor Mike explained that God gave him a crazy vision. By faith, Transformation Church would own the Spirit Bank Event Center in Tulsa, OK. He only told a handful of trustworthy people. If he had told others, they may have discouraged him. The video ended with him dancing on the roof of the building holding the keys.

God said to me, I’m trying to do that with you, but you’re playing.

In that moment, I knew God spoke to me earlier in the year, but my fear and disobedience led to a delayed blessing.

Fast-forward to the beginning of this year (2020), God took me through a series of faith steps to train me on how to hear His voice, how to discern His voice from my own, and from the enemy. (I’ll also share this with you in my next Blog Post). It was 8 months of training and then the test began. God definitely tests His children, especially if He is preparing you for ministry.

Deuteronomy 13:3 reads,

“…The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love Him

with all your heart and with all your soul.” (NIV)

God opened a door for me to be blessed in a major way. I had waited so long and my year had been so crazy, I was so happy to get some relief. On the first day of the blessing, I received a prophecy from someone I barely knew.

She said, “God said there’s going to be a major test. Stand firm on your convictions and don’t let your desires overtake you.”

I was concerned. What if I fail the test? What exactly is the test? Of course the person giving me the prophecy didn’t have those details. So I prayed on it. God confirmed that there was a test. He gave me clear instructions, Wake up everyday and ask Me what to do.

So I did and each day He ordered my steps.

The direction God gave me was clear. It led me to the blessing He had for me. But my closest friend, at the time, thought I was being deceived into choosing a curse for my life. She called me with “prophecies” that were contrary to the word God spoke to me. Now, I recognize how foolish this sounds. Clearly the simple step is to listen to God, but part of me wondered did I really hear from Him? What if my friend was correct? All of her messages were “urgent” and she needed me to listen and act right away. However, all of her messages left me confused, fearful, and tormented. I had no peace. These are all clear signs that her messages were not from God and she probably spoke from her own desires. I recognized that this was the test. It was the same test from last year just a different scenario and different people. I had so much peace when I chose to listen to God.

I thought the test would end there, but it didn’t. Actually things got way worst. I lost my friend and the warfare persisted even after I obtained my blessing. It got to a point that I despised it. I cried daily to the Lord because the enemy was trying to convince me that my blessing was a curse. He fed me lies and tried to bully me out of it. This went on for a month. The enemy’s voice was louder than God’s because I was in a state of confusion. It was hard for me to read the bible, listen to sermons, and I didn’t know who to go to for support.

 

Every now and then God’s voice would break through the chaos and whisper, I’ve prepared you for this. The answer lies in your heart. Remember who you are.”

This was important for me to receive because the enemy tried to get me to doubt my identity. If I doubted who I was then I also doubted who God called me to be. If I doubted who He called me to be then I doubted I heard from Him. Every decision I made this year was based off the fact that God spoke. If the enemy succeeded I would’ve quit ministry.

This is the enemy’s goal. If we quit or even lose our ministry then we never fulfill our God given purpose and the people we are called to suffers. This is outlined in 1 Kings 12-13. This is the story of a young prophet that God used to speak powerfully and perform signs and wonders. God gave him specific instruction – to deliver a message and then go home taking a different route not stopping to have dinner at anyone’s house. However, an older prophet, who used to be popular, heard about the young prophet and wanted to meet him.

1 Kings 13:14-22 reads:

14 Then he said to him, “Are you the man of God who came from Judah?”

And he said, “I am.”

15 Then he said to him, “Come home with me and eat bread.”

16 And he said, “I cannot return with you nor go in with you; neither can I eat bread nor drink water with you in this place. 17 For I have been told by the word of the Lord, ‘You shall not eat bread nor drink water there, nor return by going the way you came.’ ”

18 He said to him, “I too am a prophet as you are, and an angel spoke to me by the word of the Lord, saying, ‘Bring him back with you to your house, that he may eat bread and drink water.’ ” (He was lying to him.)

19 So he went back with him, and ate bread in his house, and drank water.

20 Now it happened, as they sat at the table, that the word of the Lord came to the prophet who had brought him back; 21 and he cried out to the man of God who came from Judah, saying, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Because you have disobeyed the word of the Lord, and have not kept the commandment which the Lord your God commanded you, 22 but you came back, ate bread, and drank water in the place of which the Lord said to you, “Eat no bread and drink no water,” your corpse shall not come to the tomb of your fathers.’ ”

 Shortly after the young prophet headed home and a lion struck him down. His doubt and disobedience cut his ministry short. He never fulfilled his God given purpose. The enemy tries to get us to doubt the word that God gave us, so that we would:

  1. Give up waiting
  2. Doubt God’s power
  3. Take our eyes off God long enough to kill our ministry

That day, at the height of my battle, when the enemy tried to convince me to give up my blessing God told me to fight for what’s mine. I needed to remember what God originally spoke to me, before doubt crept in, before the lies of the enemy, before confusion overtook me. God told me, “This is a blessing I have for you. There is purpose for you here.” I held on to that hope and I fought back standing firm on my convictions and firm on God’s word. I had officially passed the test!

If you’re struggling with a word that God gave you because it’s taking too long to come to fruition use the below guidelines. God instructed me to do this and it really helped.

  1. Remain in Position – Our position is prayer. During prayer ask God for help, but also rebuke the devil and bind his powers. Speaking these words stops the enemy in his tracks.
  2. Recite God’s Spoken Word Daily – Faith comes by hearing. Hearing by the word of God… Especially your words. The more I declared God’s word the more I believed that it would happen.
  3. Every day seek God for guidance – Man shall not live on bread alone but every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. This is a real thing. Every day God gave me direction to listen for His voice. He always reminded me that He was there.
  4. Don’t let the enemy bully you out of what God has for you. – The reality is the enemy has no power over you. He can’t physically steal your blessings, but he can deceive you into giving it up. Check out Genesis 25:29-34. He only has access to what you allow him to.

 

If you found this blog helpful then feel free to check out my other blogs and videos by selecting Here. I’d love to hear about your battle and how God helped you overcome it, so Leave a comment below.

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